Working daily with clients and feeling their emotions, seeing intuitively how they live is distressing at best. I don’t allow my clients to speak with me during a reading, except to acknowledge the information that I am being shown about their experiences. I believe that if a client tells me something about themselves that they are feeding me information which makes my evidence no longer valid. I prefer not to speak with them. Lately, I have spoken with a few clients after their session and I am glad that spirit insisted on this practice as of late. I have learned so much more about the human condition. Before and during a reading I feel exposed and extremely vulnerable because I am not in a present state. I rely heavily on what spirit shows me and how my spirit guides direct me, leaving little room for any “thoughts.”
My goal during a reading is to support you through your past, to acknowledge your choices and show you love where others have not.
It is my desire to hold space for you and inspire you to find support where needed.
Suffering is optional, a phrase that I hear often in spiritual communities. I find it offensive to my senses and it irritates me because it tells people that their feelings are not valid or important to process. All of us suffer at times in our lives and it’s extremely important to acknowledge how you feel.
The greatest resistance that I see in people here and in spirit, is sharing how they feel, taking a risk to be vulnerable and being honest. I joke with my friends that I have platinum level status when it comes to beating myself up. I intimately know my every flaw and when I feel disappointed sometimes I leap into attacking my character and choices. I am embarrassed to admit that I had no clue what self compassion was. According to self-compassion.org,
“With self compassion we give ourselves the same kindness and care that we’d give to a friend.”
This was a foreign concept to me. I feel like I have dusted off my old cruel habits and opened my awareness to showing myself love. I invite you to begin to notice the mean thoughts that you have about yourself when you are dealing with life, it’s painful, arduous and exhausting moments. You are human. Since I have introduced the practice of self compassion into my life, I see how horrible people are to themselves on a daily basis. Like I said, I was platinum level and sometimes I reinstate my status because I forget that I deserve kindness in the face of adversity.
I want to be your soft place to land. I am that person that talks about the most painful and difficult moments in life. I feel motivated to open up the conversation around mental health, physical illness, dying and death. People are so fearful of what happens in their lives and how they will leave it. Let me assure you of one thing. I recommend finding people who are non-judgemental, great listeners who do not give unsolicited advice or solutions. When you find them, send them my way too. I am that person, to everyone in my life, including you. Our experiences shape our perspectives and sometimes they are incredibly painful and isolating. We all want to be seen. We want to know that there are others out there going through the same issues. To hold space for someone means to enable them to be vulnerable and share what is causing them distress without saying anything in response. Offering a safe space, to listen and acknowledge is all that is required of you, to offer another human being compassion.
Please be mindful of your thoughts when you are holding space. It is not your responsibility to find a solution for the person you are listening to. If it makes you feel uncomfortable, this means that something is coming up around your own circumstances which you can deal with at a later time. Listen, hear them and let them know that you are there for them. It is very important to resist offering insight, solutions or advice, this will only make your person feel more upset, misunderstood and disappointed than they already are. Learning to be compassionate takes practice and implementing it into your life takes time too.
Be gentle with yourself and others.
Ursula has been a medium since she was a child and enjoys sharing her experiences!