This isn't how life is meant to be, is it? Human beings naturally seek meaning in their lives. Here are a few excruciatingly painful realities that people face daily; loss of a loved one, a medical diagnosis that is life changing and their dreaded fears coming true. The phrase, "it's meant to be..." irks me, it causes an automatic knee jerk reaction that I want to explain why this concept is deeply flawed and agonizing for many.
The accidental death of your child, partner, parent, best friend, family member was NOT meant to be. The disease that you weren't aware of because you didn't have any symptoms was NOT meant to be. The unfamiliar and confusing signals of mental illness that have plagued you was NOT meant to be.
I feel motivated to normalize what human beings find frightening, including my profession. I strongly feel being human comes with great responsibility. The unwritten messages that our families teach us; how to act, react, respond, cope, manage, behave and conduct ourselves starts when we are very young. For some they are raised in secure households with parents that have acquired emotional intelligence, maturity and they embrace human beings for who they are. We are all flawed and affected by our family, culture and environment.
I thought that if I was aligned with my passion, which I am, that I would not be hit by a wave of fatigue, emotional distress and helplessness. We are impacted daily by messages in the news, social media and what we tell ourselves. I told myself so many misinformed ideas and created a standard for myself that I could not continue to uphold. Maintaining a full time intuitive practice, reading people 4 days a week and experiencing their traumas in my mind-body and witnessing their emotional turmoil after 14 months straight, shut me down. Six weeks before I took time off from my business, I was waking up exhausted after a full night's sleep, my sight was blurry, I had brain fog and I couldn't concentrate. The most bizarre observation that I made was that, despite how ill I could become, (I've been in and out the Emergency since November 2020; unrelated to Covid 19) my abilities are NOT affected. They are fully in tact and it takes zero effort on my part to connect with anyone. In addition to my symptoms I noticed how empty I felt. I discovered that I had nothing left to give. When I recognized this I quietly booked off my schedule and began to listen to my body. I stopped listening to my thoughts because I began to sleep during the day and throughout the night between 11 to 13 hours without waking. I slept close to 18 hours in a 24 hour cycle for almost 2 weeks. I sobbed daily and fell apart. I saw my medical doctor, my therapist and booked with an energy worker that I had not seen before to receive, rather than give. I still have symptoms from burnout. Never in my life have I experienced burnout, the symptoms were foreign and had a life of their own, it's scary. What we tell ourselves about hustling, being the BOSS BABE and to push through no matter what and to not make excuses, is a LIE. These phrases do a disservice to us and the message is that we are NOT ENOUGH.
There are many spiritual practices that will tell you that you are not:
Two things can happen simultaneously and both be TRUE.
This is what I know about you and me. We are here and it is our responsibility to find OUR VOICE, to be the voice for others who are too afraid and not ready to stand up for themselves. In each other we seek our own truth and identity. We are surrounded by billions of human beings seeking peace, to love and be loved in return, to feel safe, to have a full belly of food, a roof over their head and to be seen. Many can only manage to survive through the day and never have any of their needs met. My experience with burnout has cultivated a part of me that I never could have dreamt was inside me. I'm still recovering and doing my best to manage.
You are MEANT to listen to your feelings, intuition and your body because your voice is the answer to your needs.
I wish you peace, comfort and love,
Ursula has been a medium since she was a child and enjoys sharing her experiences!