Every event, individual booking or private group is a new situation for me. I learn daily about how to refine my connection with spirit and my intuition. I get nervous, anxious and I worry that spirit won’t show up for me. Sometimes I don’t feel chosen, blessed or enlightened. My ability is always present and it has bled into my personal relationships. I am intimately connected with my emotions, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be able to find emotional depth in my life and work. I wasn’t always this way.
I spent most of my life hiding my feelings, avoiding and being angry about the past. I felt dismissed, denied and rejected. Developing a strong sense of self has been excruciating for me. Self-awareness? What is that? I thought I knew everything. I will never know everything. I am fallible, weathered; I have felt and been emotionally bankrupt. I recovered over time with assistance from some wonderful people, invested in myself, which has been the greatest and most painful gift that I have given myself to date.
I have discovered to break the pattern of detrimental cyclical negative thinking. It doesn’t make it any easier for me. I don’t sit down and talk to my family in spirit, having tea breaks and laughs. I get snippets from them. They affirm their presence and that tiny flash of their being fills me with love that I have never known. It literally is the little things that make my life full. It is filled with tragedy, losses and great love. I’m not any better because of my career. I have taken seriously the commitment to my emotional health and have surrounded myself with people that love and respect me deeply. That in itself is a feat.
You are not lost. You are not broken. You are not forgotten. You are surrounded by spirit and they aim to guide you, show you love and present to you options that are there to help you grow. Take them. Listen. Put aside your baggage and open yourself to their energy. They are only a thought away. Talk to them, they are listening, intently…
I have learned to this moment to be vulnerable. I have to be, to provide the services that I do. It takes courage to show your feelings.
~Your love is a gift. Share it as often as possible.~
Much love to you all,
Ursula has been a medium since she was a child and enjoys sharing her experiences!