What if the Universe delivered in spite of my fears?

There are a growing number of theories about manifesting your needs, goals and dreams. There are a few responses that trigger me. I will bring up an event talking with a friend. I’ll go into detail and my friend will say, “What did you learn?” This question tells me that somehow I provoked or invoked this event to unfold. Another question that I hear frequently is; “What are you blocking?” In the past, this response would make me judge myself with such severity that it would stop me from making any decisions. I would respond that I couldn’t find the block. My friend’s response, “It’s subconscious, if you don’t find it and deal with it you will always have this problem.” The implication is fraught with failure. If I don’t find what I’m looking for and don’t know exactly what it is, I’ll always have these issues?

Top this approach with the Law of Attraction and you might as well give up. Our society still struggles with being vulnerable. People tend to hide their thoughts and feelings for fear of rejection or judgement.

Hypothetically, let’s say that I’ve decided to travel the world. To make my dream come true I do the following based upon the schools of thought we are discussing. My first thought is excitement, I write journals envisioning my trip, and I meditate, attracting this plan into my psyche and consciousness. I create vision boards, I send out thoughts of love and kindness, I imagine that I’m already traveling the world. I strongly believe in policing your thoughts and changing patterns to a positive viewpoint; however as human beings we are complex, riddled with guilt at times and often overwhelmed by our emotions. We cannot avoid or extract our feelings. The summation is; I can’t have any fear, negative feelings or opposing thoughts about an adventure that I want to embark upon because it will destroy my dream making it null and void. It will not come to fruition because I can’t find what is blocking me. These schools of thought are automatically setting you up for failure.
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I'm tired of hearing that there must be some tiny place in us that we can't seem to find that holds us back from having what we desire. I am tired of that language. This theory makes you look for something that isn't there. If we are honest with ourselves and gently look at our; histories, pain, heartache and grief we will discover who we are.  If we are kind, love ourselves, see our flaws and open to share those parts of ourselves, we will uncover our truth. I have done all of the above. I am finished with looking for something that isn't missing. I am done turning myself inside and out. Over time, I have come to believe in myself and that is a reward that I thought that I would never reap. I didn’t find a block. I found myself and accepted me, warts and all.

I feel that the way to your heart is your own journey. For me it was being painfully honest with myself and seeing how I had hurt people over the years spending energy in protecting myself, how I had become angry and let it consume me and how I had put on weight to comfort myself when no one else had ever shown me. I still struggle with liking parts of myself; because if they weren't there I wouldn't be who I am now. I have discovered the confident me, protective me and the most important part, the vulnerable me.

Within you; you are love, energy and hope. It is within me too. You have been seen by the Universe, by the people in your life, by the Laws of Whatever, so have I. Its hard work and some people bypass the pain to stick to what they know, rather than facing their fears and doing it anyway.

Stop looking. You are loved. I am loved. Sometimes the road is lonely and sometimes and it’s a ball. Do what you love. Reach out to people. Reach within yourself and show your love. It's all you've got in this life. It’s a gift. Give it freely without remorse or judgement. Love is what we hide from each other and it is all that we need.