It's sometimes hard to understand how to be compassionate with yourself in the face of adversity. Self care is not an idea. It is a practice that many of us fail to execute, especially when we are under duress.
There is never a good time for bad news, loss of a friendship, a family member to become ill or a tragedy. These are the events that affect us daily, without warning.
I have recently been consumed by a very close family member who had an accident. They are recovering slowly, however it has taken over my thoughts, caused me emotional distress and made life a little more difficult.
I forgot to take care of myself first. I jumped into action immediately and put all of my needs aside to help them. This strategy has not worked and I'm feeling drained physically and emotionally. I was reminded by a close friend that self care and having compassion for myself is required.
I also forgot to ask spirit for support and to allow time for myself to feel the myriad of emotions running through my head.
If I'm not taking care of myself I can't be there for others. I am hyper sensitive to emotions because of my job. I am not immune and I can attest to feeling lost, upset and alone. I am not alone. I have my close friends who have reached out in ways I could not have imagined. I have strengthened relationships that I thought were gone. I have received guidance, love and compassion when I needed it the most from places that I never knew were there. I am human and I have a job that most would think that I would receive messages and insight about this situation, but I did not. No warnings, no signs, no messages.
Life is about navigating when you feel that you've lost your direction. Make the mistakes. Take a risk. Ask for your needs to be met. Open your heart when you are afraid to, especially when you are afraid! Spirit will step up, when you don't know that they are there.
Most of all, show yourself the love that you give to others.
Lots of love to you all,
I'm frequently asked by my clients about my experiences. I rarely recall them but the ones that have the most impact stay with me. Several years ago I lived on the outskirts of a small town, my neighbours were quite a distance from me and my yard backed onto a ravine. I lived alone, which makes having visitors in spirit a little frightening at times. To be clear, I am not afraid of people in spirit, it's the ones that drop in for a visit at 4am that make me jump out of bed.
I am a light sleeper, I joke that I could hear a mouse fart in Peru. I wake up to anything, partly because I'm hyper sensitive and partly because I'm a medium, spirit always make their presence known, whether I want to connect with them or not.
I was sound asleep and started to wake when I heard several loud successive rapping on my bathroom door, outside of my bedroom. It startled me, I began to wake and my lamp beside my bed clicked itself on, I knew that someone wanted my attention but I was worried that I had a break in!! I laid in bed silent and frozen. I was asking for my spirit guides to step up and to stop the person in spirit from harassing me...it only got worse. I sat up, eyes open, my dog staring at me, knowing what was about to happen. My bedroom door was closed. It began to swing open towards me, fully open....I was terrified!!! I held my breath. When no one walked through the door, I started to ask the person in spirit to leave me alone, that I wasn't working and that I needed sleep. Nothing happened. I said, alright that's enough, you are uninvited, get outside of my front door and be quiet and TURN OFF THE LIGHT!! My lamp clicked twice and went off. I knew it was a man in spirit wanting my attention. It was 4 am and I was not amused.
The next morning I woke to a text from a good friend. She said that she had felt a presence of a man in her house at 1am and she was scared to death. She told me that she sent him to me to deal with!!! Her visitor arrived, banging on my doors and turning my lights on!! Odd, that she would think that if he wasn't respecting her personal space and that he would arrive at my home during waking hours and that I could address him. I was not happy. I talked with him, as he patiently waited outside my front door and crossed him over.
If you have ever experienced the presence of someone in spirit, generally speaking they need to pass a message on or need some kind of support. I understand and appreciate this with complete sincerity. Knowing that I'm a medium please don't send someone in spirit to my home in the middle of the night, it means I need to wake up and work. I love my career but I prefer to work within business hours like everyone else does!
I wanted to give you some perspective with people that have passed. They can travel anywhere, at anytime. If someone in spirit is bothering you, ask them to return during waking hours or ask that they meet with their family in spirit and allow you the rest that you need. Human beings need support, understanding and love. So do people in spirit. I love this work but it does get a little crazy around here sometimes!
Share your experiences below to know that you're not alone.
Much love to you all,
I am in transition. I am relocating to Toronto in a few weeks and it’s hectic. Moving creates a lot of upheaval for people, including myself. There are a few things that I can count on when I’m in the middle of change.
I am in the unknown. Whether or not I like being in this state, it literally is where we reside most of the time. The only things that comfort us are our surroundings, family, friends, partners or pets. I relate it to someone shaking my snow globe and shifting dynamics that are necessary for my personal growth.
Change is inevitable and consistent. I embrace change and in fact, I desire it. Sometimes, when I’m in it I get overwhelmed and worked up. It’s natural to feel this way, sometimes life can be a little scary.
Make new adjustments. My location will be different. This will open up new places to visit, shop, frequent and make new friends. I am excited about this part of my move. I am naturally an extrovert and love being in social settings.
How do you manage when you don’t know how things will turn out?
Trusting the process and facing your fears will enable you to move forward. I too, fall into patterns sometimes that don’t serve me. I will question why things are changing. Then, I realize that when I look back on my journey that spirit has had my back the entire time!
I have been changing residences since 2010 and literally, every 2 years! This is how I put things into perspective. The first place I looked at to move to in 2010, was the one I moved into within a month and had the number 3 in the address. The second location, had the same name in the street address and the vibration of 3. My last two locations, were in the vibration of the number 4 and had the same name in the street address as well!!
Change is inevitable and how we manage it will show us who we are. Embrace it. Your journey has changed direction, follow it, with the passion and love in your heart that you had before it came. You will not be disappointed!
Much love to you all,
I recently investigated an alleged haunted home. I never assume that there is any activity at a place, home or building. I'm a skeptic, first. I want to see where the sounds are originating from or find the source for the sensations that the home owner is experiencing. Before I arrived, as per usual, I was awoken at 5 am by a man in spirit knocking on the walls in my hallway. I asked my guides to tell him to leave me alone and that I would deal with him later in the day, when I was scheduled to work. The noises stopped abruptly.
When I arrived at the home, the two people that required my help greeted me. They were a mother and son. I had been to their home years before, but I couldn't recall a thing. I rarely remember messages from spirit or details that are given to me. I can relate stories because they are impactful and remain in my memory; otherwise, it feels like I have amnesia.
I told them that I only wanted yes or no responses and that I was perfectly fine if they disagreed with me. I immediately described the man that had visited me much earlier in the morning, I gave his name, his age and how he passed, he also told me that he dated the woman of the residence. She agreed, to all of the details, she was surprised to hear from him.
I walked around the home and the property, looking for people in spirit that needed my assistance or those that were spending time at the location. I met a man who passed, tragically, his life was taken, and he told me that his body was found on a property several buildings south of where I was located. The home owner also agreed that they weren't sure what happened and wondered why the police had lined their side road outside of his home.
I realized before arriving at the home that the son was a medium. I met more than 15 family members in spirit and friends that were urgently trying to get his attention. I don't believe that this is a special skill, I feel that using your intuition or communicating with spirit is a skill that everyone possesses. The son was so distraught that he listed off event after event of how, when and what spirit were doing to get his attention. They would move his furniture in his room, knock on walls, they would talk for hours, they were tapping him on the shoulder...the list goes on. These ghosts, that the home owner presumed they were; were his grandfather, his uncle, his friend who passed tragically, another close friend, an aunt, grandmother.
Generally speaking, people in spirit, our friends and family want the best for us. They contact us through various means. They contact us to pass a message to us. That is their only purpose. They want to encourage us, support us, love us and show that they are present in our lives. Most people, from my experience, become afraid and want to make the scary shadows, the presence that they feel in their home, go away. It's very rare that I meet strangers visiting someone in their home. In this case, there were strangers, seeking to pass messages or to ask for assistance to go to the other side. They were successful. All of them.
I managed to message the mother and son, with words of wisdom, some painful admissions of guilt and sorrow caused by family members in spirit, and love. The gentleman that passed nearby needed assistance home. The son's close friend that passed tragically had been attempting for months to reach him, but the home owner's son was upset, disturbed and frustrated by spirits presence that he continuously fought to keep them away from him, rather than embrace and listen to them.
Spirit have their ways, and we are not used to them. I taught the home owners how to work with their many visitors and how to keep a peaceful home. It takes work. It takes commitment. It isn't easy because there are so many people in spirit that want to pass messages on to their loved ones. We, being here, can decide when or if we choose to connect with them. The young man felt overwhelmed and tired, now he can choose how to deal with this skill that he wasn't able to understand.
Much love to you all,
There are a growing number of theories about manifesting your needs, goals and dreams. There are a few responses that trigger me. I will bring up an event talking with a friend. I’ll go into detail and my friend will say, “What did you learn?” This question tells me that somehow I provoked or invoked this event to unfold. Another question that I hear frequently is; “What are you blocking?” In the past, this response would make me judge myself with such severity that it would stop me from making any decisions. I would respond that I couldn’t find the block. My friend’s response, “It’s subconscious, if you don’t find it and deal with it you will always have this problem.” The implication is fraught with failure. If I don’t find what I’m looking for and don’t know exactly what it is, I’ll always have these issues?
Top this approach with the Law of Attraction and you might as well give up. Our society still struggles with being vulnerable. People tend to hide their thoughts and feelings for fear of rejection or judgement.
Hypothetically, let’s say that I’ve decided to travel the world. To make my dream come true I do the following based upon the schools of thought we are discussing. My first thought is excitement, I write journals envisioning my trip, and I meditate, attracting this plan into my psyche and consciousness. I create vision boards, I send out thoughts of love and kindness, I imagine that I’m already traveling the world. I strongly believe in policing your thoughts and changing patterns to a positive viewpoint; however as human beings we are complex, riddled with guilt at times and often overwhelmed by our emotions. We cannot avoid or extract our feelings. The summation is; I can’t have any fear, negative feelings or opposing thoughts about an adventure that I want to embark upon because it will destroy my dream making it null and void. It will not come to fruition because I can’t find what is blocking me. These schools of thought are automatically setting you up for failure.
I'm tired of hearing that there must be some tiny place in us that we can't seem to find that holds us back from having what we desire. I am tired of that language. This theory makes you look for something that isn't there. If we are honest with ourselves and gently look at our; histories, pain, heartache and grief we will discover who we are. If we are kind, love ourselves, see our flaws and open to share those parts of ourselves, we will uncover our truth. I have done all of the above. I am finished with looking for something that isn't missing. I am done turning myself inside and out. Over time, I have come to believe in myself and that is a reward that I thought that I would never reap. I didn’t find a block. I found myself and accepted me, warts and all.
I feel that the way to your heart is your own journey. For me it was being painfully honest with myself and seeing how I had hurt people over the years spending energy in protecting myself, how I had become angry and let it consume me and how I had put on weight to comfort myself when no one else had ever shown me. I still struggle with liking parts of myself; because if they weren't there I wouldn't be who I am now. I have discovered the confident me, protective me and the most important part, the vulnerable me.
Within you; you are love, energy and hope. It is within me too. You have been seen by the Universe, by the people in your life, by the Laws of Whatever, so have I. Its hard work and some people bypass the pain to stick to what they know, rather than facing their fears and doing it anyway.
Stop looking. You are loved. I am loved. Sometimes the road is lonely and sometimes and it’s a ball. Do what you love. Reach out to people. Reach within yourself and show your love. It's all you've got in this life. It’s a gift. Give it freely without remorse or judgement. Love is what we hide from each other and it is all that we need.
If I could take all of you and wrap you in the arms of love, I would. This time of year is precious to so many. It’s the gathering of loved ones and family celebrating each other and our connectedness. Some are in spirit, still they visit and make themselves known, even when we’re not paying attention. All I ask of you is this….be gentle with yourself. Our lives are complex, often filled with struggle and distress. My personal growth has come from a commitment that I never thought was possible. I committed to my emotional health 3 years ago and I have never looked back. However, like you, I still get caught up in drama, suffer the grieving process and experience setbacks. Without any of these events we wouldn’t become strong, loving and often, broken hearted. When your heart breaks, it makes room for more love and more adventure.
At this crazy hectic time of year I ask you to take a moment to yourself. Sit quietly and thank all of the people, places, events and experiences that have crossed your path this past year. Being grateful for the triumphs and forgiving to those that have made mistakes. We are fallible. Mistakes are what make us see our truth as well as our direction. For those of you angry, underneath that is a deep pain that you carry. It’s okay, eventually you’ll see that your pain has run its course and it’s time to see the positive things around you. Embrace your feelings, whatever they may be. They are present to remind you that you are human.
Know that you are loved by people who have never told you, by your family and friends in spirit and by your spirit. Remember, you are spirit. Your higher self will never steer you wrong. Trust that your life has taken a detour and you will be put back on your path, even if you don’t know what that looks like.
I trust that love will find its way to you as it has for me through this past year.
I’m sending all of you healing in your time of need, support when you feel that there is none and love when you think you can’t find it.
Much love to you all,
Every event, individual booking or private group is a new situation for me. I learn daily about how to refine my connection with spirit and my intuition. I get nervous, anxious and I worry that spirit won’t show up for me. Sometimes I don’t feel chosen, blessed or enlightened. My ability is always present and it has bled into my personal relationships. I am intimately connected with my emotions, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t be able to find emotional depth in my life and work. I wasn’t always this way.
I spent most of my life hiding my feelings, avoiding and being angry about the past. I felt dismissed, denied and rejected. Developing a strong sense of self has been excruciating for me. Self-awareness? What is that? I thought I knew everything. I will never know everything. I am fallible, weathered; I have felt and been emotionally bankrupt. I recovered over time with assistance from some wonderful people, invested in myself, which has been the greatest and most painful gift that I have given myself to date.
I have discovered to break the pattern of detrimental cyclical negative thinking. It doesn’t make it any easier for me. I don’t sit down and talk to my family in spirit, having tea breaks and laughs. I get snippets from them. They affirm their presence and that tiny flash of their being fills me with love that I have never known. It literally is the little things that make my life full. It is filled with tragedy, losses and great love. I’m not any better because of my career. I have taken seriously the commitment to my emotional health and have surrounded myself with people that love and respect me deeply. That in itself is a feat.
You are not lost. You are not broken. You are not forgotten. You are surrounded by spirit and they aim to guide you, show you love and present to you options that are there to help you grow. Take them. Listen. Put aside your baggage and open yourself to their energy. They are only a thought away. Talk to them, they are listening, intently…
I have learned to this moment to be vulnerable. I have to be, to provide the services that I do. It takes courage to show your feelings.
~Your love is a gift. Share it as often as possible.~
Much love to you all,
My work is unpredictable and I know that seems ironic to most of you. I never know what will happen or how spirit will get my attention. It wasn’t until recently that I have had new and shocking experiences with people in spirit visiting me. I have discovered that the more frequently I give readings the more sensitive and accurate I’ve become. It’s a little unnerving, sometimes very entertaining and often emotional.
My recent tour of Cape Breton changed my perspective and opened my eyes to new ways of thinking. I was very nervous and sleep deprived the morning I had my first radio interview. Not only was it my first time on air but I also had to prepare to give a reading, which sets me into a very different frame of mind. I’m much more lucid. I describe giving a reading like a stream of consciousness, it flows and I repeat everything that I see, hear and feel in a whirlwind of words. As I prepared early that morning I was greeted by a man in spirit and he showed me how he passed. I ignored him because he was on a fishing boat dressed in rain gear; after all I was in the Maritimes and who hasn’t heard about a fishing story there? I spoke with my guide, who is in spirit and he let me know in advance that I would have some difficulty with one of the deejays that morning but not to worry that it would work out. I didn’t know what he meant and carried on with my regular routine. When I was introduced to the crew the gentleman across from me stood with his arms crossed firmly with a stern look on his face. He stated that he had watched all of my videos and he was very resistant to making eye contact with me, it was a clear indication to me that he was a skeptic. I’m met with all kinds of responses frequently, some still shock me but others have become familiar and it doesn’t affect me. Off the air I described the man in spirit that I met earlier that morning and none of the deejays could relate to what I shared. Then, I continued to receive personal details along with the man in spirit’s last name. The direct connection was to the deejay that wasn’t happy to meet me. Spirit have a funny way of making themselves known and this man that had passed was not giving up on me until I heard what he had to say. They went back on air and the deejay exclaimed that he was a massive skeptic and now a believer with the evidence that I provided to him.
Later that day, I shook a woman’s hand to greet her and instantaneously I met a man in spirit. Poof…he was beside me chattering away. I was socializing, not giving a reading but he insisted on informing me of his passing and how important it was for him to message this individual. I didn’t tell her about him because I had two more hours in the car before I arrived at my first destination. I described it to my assistant and we carried on our journey along the Cabot Trail. I often talk out loud and repeat what spirits are saying to me when I’m with Leanne many hours before an event. People in spirit begin to crowd my thoughts and interrupt my conversations. I have to affirm to them that I will work with them, when the event starts and to leave me alone until then. Some people on the other side lack boundaries, which is frustrating but completely understandable when they have an urgent message for their family and friends here.
I arrived at the motel and checked in. When I met the associate behind the counter, a woman, I heard the name Katie. She told me that she knew who I was and that she was bringing her mother to my show later on, she was giddy and nervous to speak with me. I smiled and walked away. My first night’s event was incredible for me and the audience members were gracious, funny and very welcoming. I felt at home. It was a comfortable and very friendly environment. I loved it.
The next morning I checked out and again, I heard the name Katie. The same woman was behind the counter and I approached her. This time, she had tears in her eyes when our eyes met. She asked if she could hug me. She told me how grateful she was for seeing me the night before and she was happy that I messaged her mother. I then said “who calls you Katie?” She started to cry again. Her grandfather who had passed called her that, he was the only one that did because her name is Kayla. It’s moments like these that I’m a puddle, I cried too because I did end up messaging her…afterwards, better late than never.
Again I heard my guides quite clearly and I was warned that I would be messaging someone else outside of one of my events. Leanne and I were leaving to go to dinner and I bumped into this woman. Once again…I was greeted by two people in spirit and they wanted to talk. I’ve never had this many spirits be so adamant and stay with me to guide me to the people they wanted to connect with. It amazed me how they timed everything so impeccably. The woman knew who I was and I said that I had something to share with her. She stopped me from messaging her to have her friend join us. That was agony for me because the spirits were so pushy that they were making me painfully uncomfortable! When her friend arrived all details came spilling out along with tears from the woman in front of me. She hugged me and thanked me. I carried on to dinner as originally planned. An hour later we were greeted by this woman’s friend. She thanked me profusely for what I had done. She claimed that both of them didn’t believe in my work, so to prove me wrong the woman I messaged gave her friend only details that they would know. The friend said I repeated the details they had shared with each other earlier in the day and that I was the real deal. She went on to say that she was grateful because the person who had passed had plagued her friend, causing her great distress and that my reading alleviated her from years of hurt and pain. She felt lighter now.
Remember the man in spirit that showed up when I shook the woman’s hand? Well, he stayed with me for three days until I met the woman again, after one of my shows. She was happy to see me and said she enjoyed watching me work. I took her aside and began to message her. We found a home for the man and his connection to her. The information confirmed for her some details she had received the day before at her work. The man in spirit also managed to tell her to stay the course in her career and that she soon would become a leader and example to fellow associates. She was shocked and relieved. I was too because the man in spirit was quiet as a mouse for three days, I had no idea that he was hitching a ride with me or that I would see this person again. People in spirit know so much more than we do here!
I am humbled, honored and in awe of how spirit work. I am always learning. If there is a will there is a way. Spirit will find their way to you, no matter what you think the obstacle may be.
They are there for you, ALWAYS….You just have to ask for them and they will be there….xoxoxo
I am frequently asked how can I reach out to spirit and why haven’t they shown themselves?
They have. They have made their presence known in various ways. Our filter, our perception is what stands in the way of our abilities. As a follower of mine, you must know that I’m a SKEPTIC. Yes. I admit to being cautious about new methods, approaches or modalities in the spiritual alternative community for a lack of a better description. If I experience something supernatural, I question it. I go through my senses, energetic boundaries and connect with my guides for insight that I may have missed. Is everything real out there? It is not all real. There are groups and people that debunk and create hoaxes online to deceive people. Deception is the least of my worries when investigating psychic phenomena, ghosts or hauntings.
I interchange words frequently; I’ll use spirit or soul, which to me is the same. I’m not a stickler for definitions. You and I reside on earth; we have a body, which hosts our spirit or soul. I can read you alive or passed. Your body dies, not your spirit. I connect with your spirit and to those around you. It seems like a complicated process at times for me, it can be overwhelming and confusing. I discern through my senses and by communicating with spirit. For me, as a medium, people in spirit don’t line up and have a clear and concise conversation with me. With my process I spend time putting together puzzle pieces when I connect with those in spirit.
I rely on my ability to see spirit, which will be in my mind or physically in front of me. I listen, I will hear audibly in the room or in my head. I also feel people in spirit, they will make me feel me pain in my body where their illnesses resided and will make me feel their feelings. The most difficult part for me is feeling emotions. I have boundaries, I request that they don’t overwhelm me and make me cry when I’m in session, however, at times, the experience will get the better of them and the tears stream down my face.
Here are ways to connect with your family and friends in spirit. Commit to using one or several suggestions;
1. Meditate as frequently as possible. It is the quickest way to get out of your head and it will put you in a state of being that is ideal for communicating with those that have passed. It will also reduce your anxiety, stresses of the day and enable you to rest your mind and body.
2. Have a conversation with spirit. They can hear you, if you say it out loud or say it in your head; it is all the same to them. You’ve thought of them many times and immediately you have received confirmation that they were listening. Sometimes a song comes on the radio and you just though about your Aunt in spirit who loved it. She came through for you. Your first impulse is to dismiss your silly thought and ignore it.
3. Don’t dismiss your thoughts and feelings. Investigate them before allowing your logical mind to find an excuse for a bizarre experience or a feeling that just “appeared.” It’s your job to look into it further to determine its significance. This is the most frequent way that spirit gets our attention.
4. Be patient with yourself. Your emotions have a life of their own sometimes. Feel your feelings before attempting to connect with someone in spirit. We are human beings and we sense a thousand different emotions throughout our day. Getting angry and determining that you can’t do this will only set you back. Feel first. Get clarity. Meditate and ask for them to visit you. It’s a simple formula.
5. Lastly, don’t become attached to the outcome. Developing this skill takes time. I teach psychic and mediumship development. It’s best if you’re in a group setting. You receive feedback from fellow students which allows you to see your progress or how you may be sabotaging yourself. These things take time.
Boundaries. They are a chronic battle for me with my work. I practice them daily! It seems though that my "spidey senses" have a mind of their own sometimes. I never recognized until recently how prolific my life had become and the intensity that intuitive information had been finding its way to me. I experience daily occurrences, whether I want them or not.
I teach psychic development and stress the importance of energetic boundaries, however, spirit tend to have a different agenda and our intentions clash!
I visited at friend at her trailer recently. It was an hour drive. We prattled on and laughed our hearts out on the way. The last half hour I started to feel sick, uneasy and uncomfortable. I chalked it up to being tired and I tried to ignore it. When we arrived I still felt a little off. We entered her trailer and I immediately felt my tell tale sign, that spirit were on the premises, I was struck immediately with intense vertigo. I knew something was up but my friend wasn't aware. I sat down and started to connect with my guides to find out what was going on and why I needed to be privy to it. My friend saw the distress on my face and asked what was wrong. I said I needed to address what was happening, set boundaries and enjoy my evening of socializing and not working.
I met my friends father in spirit and a grandmother connected to her friend in the trailer with us. Then, a man in spirit, told me that he had been murdered and showed me where it happened. I was upset by this news but knew I wasn't able to help him at the time. I shared this with my girlfriend and she confirmed that it had happened where I pointed to and she knew the details.
Was I supposed to investigate and deal with a stranger in spirit to find out what he needed? Perhaps. This is a regular occurrence for me. Spirit see me and want my assistance, whether I'm vacationing, visiting with friends, out for a walk, on a plane, talking to a friend or relaxing on a day off. They are everywhere. My personal boundaries are important to me. I asked my guides to assist him and went on with my night.
It pulls at me, its sometimes upsetting, mostly its about deciding what is most important. My work is my life, however it's not my job 24/7. If it was I would never sleep. I share this with you, to help all of you understand the importance of saying no, to learning your boundaries and the value of time. Your time is important. Building relationships and growing, loving and caring take time. Use it to your discretion not what the world predicts you should do.
Be kind, show empathy and always send love.
Big hugs and love to you all!
Ursula has been a medium since she was a child and enjoys sharing her experiences!