An empath is a person who experiences the feelings of the people around them. It is a hypersensitivity, a sensation that is felt throughout the fiber of their being. For me I use this skill to read my clients, people and pets. What does it mean to be an empath? It means that on a daily basis you will be bombarded by people’s feelings, which are not necessarily immediately identifiable. Often empaths feel a myriad of emotions and these feelings are not theirs. If you are an empath, you feel the need to help and understand everyone around you. It is a natural willingness to be open to others and to assist them with their challenges.
Looking back from my childhood I have put the pieces together and made connections with my experiences being an empath. I recall seeing people in spirit starting when I was five years old. I felt their presence immediately just before falling asleep at night, in the middle of the night and in the morning. I couldn’t see anyone but I knew that they were there. I often had headaches which would most likely be called migraines by today’s standards. I remember my head hurting so badly that I would crawl into bed during the day into the fetal position and I would cry myself to sleep. During these horrible headaches, I had to be in a dark room; the light irritated my eyes, intensified the pain and I felt nauseous. I distinctly remember situations that would make me anxious; friends that I didn’t want to be near because of their destructive and hurtful ways. I literally had a built in barometer for situations that I could never have predicted as a child. This unknown feeling that presented itself frequently kept me safe.
As an empath I have learned throughout the years how to develop strategies, healthy practices and strong boundaries to cope.
Questions to ask yourself to identify if you are an Empath;
I have a few tips for you to look for when considering connecting to your family and friends in spirit. I equate communicating with spirit to a completely different language, however english or any language works perfectly well in to be honest.
Be patient with yourself. These new tools take time to learn to utilize.
I drove to my clients home for a very small group reading, a mother and her 2 children were expecting me. In the car a sharp concentrated pain in my ribs on the right side began to throb and ache. The pain intensified the closer I got to the residence. By the time I arrived I couldn't ignore the discomfort that was plaguing my ribs and back. I arrived, greeted my clients and we situated ourselves comfortably in the living room.
I explained to the family how we would work together and to not share any details or information with me. I asked them all to respond with a yes or no answer. I told my clients that I see, hear and feel people in spirit. I went on to explain that someone was so determined to come through that they had made me feel the pain that they suffered while they were alive, before their passing. I described the pain, where it was located and throughout the reading I continued to hold my hand against my rib hoping to suppress the discomfort. The pain dissipated after confirming the person in spirit. I said to my client Joan*, I have someone here who passed from cancer, they found a tumor on the liver, but there was a primary and secondary location. All three of them said "yes." I said, "this is your husband." Joan immediately responded "yes." I said, "who is Don?" Joan replied in tears, "my husband."" I began to describe his gregarious personality, his anger at the disease that took his life, his inability to parent his children and to support his wife.
He talked to his daughter, he told her that she is studying medicine, that she is distracted in her studies and he described specific people in detail to stay away from that would hurt her and put her in harms way. He said that she would become a doctor. She immediately disagreed and I responded that she would become a nurse, work in the emergency department but continue her education to become a surgeon. She laughed and had a look of disbelief on her face. He went on to tell her that she doubted her brilliance and ability to become a doctor, as he predicted. He told her about her fears, that she confirmed and he said he would be with her every step of the way to help her. He told her that her success was beyond her wildest dreams.
He addressed his son, telling him about the item that he keeps under his bed that reminds him of his dad, a picture that he talks to, when he is alone in his room. He also said that it's okay for him to be angry at him and to let it out. His son burst into tears, he responded to me in few words and often paused to take in what was transpiring in front of us. His father understood his anger, frustration and disappointment that his lost his father. The young man is only 16 years old.
I turned to Joan and I said, "you have a double sink in your en-suite bathroom and you talk to your husband every morning in the mirror." She said "yes." I said "I see you with a cup in your hand. She said "yes, my morning tea." Joan had developed such a strong relationship with her husband that it continued after his passing. Her husband showed me how she talked to him daily, first thing in the morning. The bond between them is so strong that she had not noticed her husband trying to get her attention, physically. I said "your husband has been trying to get your attention but you're not noticing him." Joan looked confused and disagreed that she hadn't been aware of his efforts. Her husband told me to ask about the blue bracelet in the kitchen. She got up from her chair in the living room and walked to the kitchen, and picked up something, returned and set a blue and silver bracelet in front of me. She said "it's weird, I just found this behind my dresser." I said "your husband moved it." She disagreed. I then said "your answering machine on your home phone isn't working properly." She agreed. I said I have these numbers that your husband has repeated to me. I said "what does 7690 mean?" She said "the code to answer my phone messages on my home phone is 7691."
I was in shock. In 14 years I have never given someone their password for a security feature. Granted, I had 3 out of 4 numbers correct but I was blown away with the accuracy and intensity that this father had. He was determined to have his family acknowledge his ability to communicate and to continue to support them after his passing. Don has given me the most profound and life changing experience as a person and a medium. I don't doubt the presence of people in spirit. I never have. I am so impressed with the love that this man holds for his family. It was moving, to the point during the session that all 4 of us were crying. He was a man on a mission. He achieved his goal and will always be present for his family.
Thank you Don, for being you and making yourself known.
Lots of love,
*Names and details have been changed to protect my clients identity.*
How about that? A year has gone by and I have not written a blog. I have been wrapped up in adjusting to Toronto, to personal challenges and to life. I HATE making excuses. Accountability and responsibility are extremely important to me. When I lived in Hamilton things were different. I had the support of my closest and longest friend, Leanne, who was also my personal assistant. I also lived in a city, which felt like the suburbs, not like the downtown core of Toronto where I currently reside. Excuses aside, here is what I discovered.
Since I decided to work full time in my career, which I did in October 2014 my life has changed dramatically in ways that I could not have imagined. Moving to Toronto opened up possibilities for me; I was sought out and interviewed by Post City Magazine. Around the same time I was contacted by a television producer and asked to audition for a few television shows that they had in development. I was contacted by a mother searching for her missing son. It was one of the most difficult reading that I have ever done; the emotional aftermath took me several weeks to recover from. My mother was in an accident that required 5 hours of surgery including pins and plates. My cats didn’t adjust well, wreaking havoc on my furniture and they weren’t themselves. The building I moved into was and still is under construction, listening to hours of drilling, hammering, constant noise has made me feel annoyed and frustrated. I have had long term friendships end and new ones evolve. Overall there has been constant change, which has drained me, emotionally. The most amazing part is that I have noticed that I can slip into a reading without preparation or effort. It just happens. It has become hazardous to my friendships and frustrating for me personally. I will adjust. I am adjusting. It’s taken much more time than I anticipated.
When you think you have it all figured out with your plans for your future and how things will unfold, read my blog. Personally, I have had to face a lot of challenges and fears that I didn’t know were issues, it has been very hard for me. Fortunately and I am very grateful for the support system I have in place, which includes other mediums and very close friends who are always present.
We are all guided to what we need to investigate further personally, examine it, let go of it and to face, whether we want to or not. Facing your fears requires courage on your behalf. The worst of what you imagine will rarely come to fruition. What you will discover in your hardships are parts of you that you didn’t know existed!! Sometimes we think we are weak, incapable or inept. We are not. Our family and friends in spirit will step in, when required and as requested. The rest is up to us.
It's sometimes hard to understand how to be compassionate with yourself in the face of adversity. Self care is not an idea. It is a practice that many of us fail to execute, especially when we are under duress.
There is never a good time for bad news, loss of a friendship, a family member to become ill or a tragedy. These are the events that affect us daily, without warning.
I have recently been consumed by a very close family member who had an accident. They are recovering slowly, however it has taken over my thoughts, caused me emotional distress and made life a little more difficult.
I forgot to take care of myself first. I jumped into action immediately and put all of my needs aside to help them. This strategy has not worked and I'm feeling drained physically and emotionally. I was reminded by a close friend that self care and having compassion for myself is required.
I also forgot to ask spirit for support and to allow time for myself to feel the myriad of emotions running through my head.
If I'm not taking care of myself I can't be there for others. I am hyper sensitive to emotions because of my job. I am not immune and I can attest to feeling lost, upset and alone. I am not alone. I have my close friends who have reached out in ways I could not have imagined. I have strengthened relationships that I thought were gone. I have received guidance, love and compassion when I needed it the most from places that I never knew were there. I am human and I have a job that most would think that I would receive messages and insight about this situation, but I did not. No warnings, no signs, no messages.
Life is about navigating when you feel that you've lost your direction. Make the mistakes. Take a risk. Ask for your needs to be met. Open your heart when you are afraid to, especially when you are afraid! Spirit will step up, when you don't know that they are there.
Most of all, show yourself the love that you give to others.
Lots of love to you all,
I'm frequently asked by my clients about my experiences. I rarely recall them but the ones that have the most impact stay with me. Several years ago I lived on the outskirts of a small town, my neighbours were quite a distance from me and my yard backed onto a ravine. I lived alone, which makes having visitors in spirit a little frightening at times. To be clear, I am not afraid of people in spirit, it's the ones that drop in for a visit at 4am that make me jump out of bed.
I am a light sleeper, I joke that I could hear a mouse fart in Peru. I wake up to anything, partly because I'm hyper sensitive and partly because I'm a medium, spirit always make their presence known, whether I want to connect with them or not.
I was sound asleep and started to wake when I heard several loud successive rapping on my bathroom door, outside of my bedroom. It startled me, I began to wake and my lamp beside my bed clicked itself on, I knew that someone wanted my attention but I was worried that I had a break in!! I laid in bed silent and frozen. I was asking for my spirit guides to step up and to stop the person in spirit from harassing me...it only got worse. I sat up, eyes open, my dog staring at me, knowing what was about to happen. My bedroom door was closed. It began to swing open towards me, fully open....I was terrified!!! I held my breath. When no one walked through the door, I started to ask the person in spirit to leave me alone, that I wasn't working and that I needed sleep. Nothing happened. I said, alright that's enough, you are uninvited, get outside of my front door and be quiet and TURN OFF THE LIGHT!! My lamp clicked twice and went off. I knew it was a man in spirit wanting my attention. It was 4 am and I was not amused.
The next morning I woke to a text from a good friend. She said that she had felt a presence of a man in her house at 1am and she was scared to death. She told me that she sent him to me to deal with!!! Her visitor arrived, banging on my doors and turning my lights on!! Odd, that she would think that if he wasn't respecting her personal space and that he would arrive at my home during waking hours and that I could address him. I was not happy. I talked with him, as he patiently waited outside my front door and crossed him over.
If you have ever experienced the presence of someone in spirit, generally speaking they need to pass a message on or need some kind of support. I understand and appreciate this with complete sincerity. Knowing that I'm a medium please don't send someone in spirit to my home in the middle of the night, it means I need to wake up and work. I love my career but I prefer to work within business hours like everyone else does!
I wanted to give you some perspective with people that have passed. They can travel anywhere, at anytime. If someone in spirit is bothering you, ask them to return during waking hours or ask that they meet with their family in spirit and allow you the rest that you need. Human beings need support, understanding and love. So do people in spirit. I love this work but it does get a little crazy around here sometimes!
Share your experiences below to know that you're not alone.
Much love to you all,
I am in transition. I am relocating to Toronto in a few weeks and it’s hectic. Moving creates a lot of upheaval for people, including myself. There are a few things that I can count on when I’m in the middle of change.
I am in the unknown. Whether or not I like being in this state, it literally is where we reside most of the time. The only things that comfort us are our surroundings, family, friends, partners or pets. I relate it to someone shaking my snow globe and shifting dynamics that are necessary for my personal growth.
Change is inevitable and consistent. I embrace change and in fact, I desire it. Sometimes, when I’m in it I get overwhelmed and worked up. It’s natural to feel this way, sometimes life can be a little scary.
Make new adjustments. My location will be different. This will open up new places to visit, shop, frequent and make new friends. I am excited about this part of my move. I am naturally an extrovert and love being in social settings.
How do you manage when you don’t know how things will turn out?
Trusting the process and facing your fears will enable you to move forward. I too, fall into patterns sometimes that don’t serve me. I will question why things are changing. Then, I realize that when I look back on my journey that spirit has had my back the entire time!
I have been changing residences since 2010 and literally, every 2 years! This is how I put things into perspective. The first place I looked at to move to in 2010, was the one I moved into within a month and had the number 3 in the address. The second location, had the same name in the street address and the vibration of 3. My last two locations, were in the vibration of the number 4 and had the same name in the street address as well!!
Change is inevitable and how we manage it will show us who we are. Embrace it. Your journey has changed direction, follow it, with the passion and love in your heart that you had before it came. You will not be disappointed!
Much love to you all,
I recently investigated an alleged haunted home. I never assume that there is any activity at a place, home or building. I'm a skeptic, first. I want to see where the sounds are originating from or find the source for the sensations that the home owner is experiencing. Before I arrived, as per usual, I was awoken at 5 am by a man in spirit knocking on the walls in my hallway. I asked my guides to tell him to leave me alone and that I would deal with him later in the day, when I was scheduled to work. The noises stopped abruptly.
When I arrived at the home, the two people that required my help greeted me. They were a mother and son. I had been to their home years before, but I couldn't recall a thing. I rarely remember messages from spirit or details that are given to me. I can relate stories because they are impactful and remain in my memory; otherwise, it feels like I have amnesia.
I told them that I only wanted yes or no responses and that I was perfectly fine if they disagreed with me. I immediately described the man that had visited me much earlier in the morning, I gave his name, his age and how he passed, he also told me that he dated the woman of the residence. She agreed, to all of the details, she was surprised to hear from him.
I walked around the home and the property, looking for people in spirit that needed my assistance or those that were spending time at the location. I met a man who passed, tragically, his life was taken, and he told me that his body was found on a property several buildings south of where I was located. The home owner also agreed that they weren't sure what happened and wondered why the police had lined their side road outside of his home.
I realized before arriving at the home that the son was a medium. I met more than 15 family members in spirit and friends that were urgently trying to get his attention. I don't believe that this is a special skill, I feel that using your intuition or communicating with spirit is a skill that everyone possesses. The son was so distraught that he listed off event after event of how, when and what spirit were doing to get his attention. They would move his furniture in his room, knock on walls, they would talk for hours, they were tapping him on the shoulder...the list goes on. These ghosts, that the home owner presumed they were; were his grandfather, his uncle, his friend who passed tragically, another close friend, an aunt, grandmother.
Generally speaking, people in spirit, our friends and family want the best for us. They contact us through various means. They contact us to pass a message to us. That is their only purpose. They want to encourage us, support us, love us and show that they are present in our lives. Most people, from my experience, become afraid and want to make the scary shadows, the presence that they feel in their home, go away. It's very rare that I meet strangers visiting someone in their home. In this case, there were strangers, seeking to pass messages or to ask for assistance to go to the other side. They were successful. All of them.
I managed to message the mother and son, with words of wisdom, some painful admissions of guilt and sorrow caused by family members in spirit, and love. The gentleman that passed nearby needed assistance home. The son's close friend that passed tragically had been attempting for months to reach him, but the home owner's son was upset, disturbed and frustrated by spirits presence that he continuously fought to keep them away from him, rather than embrace and listen to them.
Spirit have their ways, and we are not used to them. I taught the home owners how to work with their many visitors and how to keep a peaceful home. It takes work. It takes commitment. It isn't easy because there are so many people in spirit that want to pass messages on to their loved ones. We, being here, can decide when or if we choose to connect with them. The young man felt overwhelmed and tired, now he can choose how to deal with this skill that he wasn't able to understand.
Much love to you all,
There are a growing number of theories about manifesting your needs, goals and dreams. There are a few responses that trigger me. I will bring up an event talking with a friend. I’ll go into detail and my friend will say, “What did you learn?” This question tells me that somehow I provoked or invoked this event to unfold. Another question that I hear frequently is; “What are you blocking?” In the past, this response would make me judge myself with such severity that it would stop me from making any decisions. I would respond that I couldn’t find the block. My friend’s response, “It’s subconscious, if you don’t find it and deal with it you will always have this problem.” The implication is fraught with failure. If I don’t find what I’m looking for and don’t know exactly what it is, I’ll always have these issues?
Top this approach with the Law of Attraction and you might as well give up. Our society still struggles with being vulnerable. People tend to hide their thoughts and feelings for fear of rejection or judgement.
Hypothetically, let’s say that I’ve decided to travel the world. To make my dream come true I do the following based upon the schools of thought we are discussing. My first thought is excitement, I write journals envisioning my trip, and I meditate, attracting this plan into my psyche and consciousness. I create vision boards, I send out thoughts of love and kindness, I imagine that I’m already traveling the world. I strongly believe in policing your thoughts and changing patterns to a positive viewpoint; however as human beings we are complex, riddled with guilt at times and often overwhelmed by our emotions. We cannot avoid or extract our feelings. The summation is; I can’t have any fear, negative feelings or opposing thoughts about an adventure that I want to embark upon because it will destroy my dream making it null and void. It will not come to fruition because I can’t find what is blocking me. These schools of thought are automatically setting you up for failure.
I'm tired of hearing that there must be some tiny place in us that we can't seem to find that holds us back from having what we desire. I am tired of that language. This theory makes you look for something that isn't there. If we are honest with ourselves and gently look at our; histories, pain, heartache and grief we will discover who we are. If we are kind, love ourselves, see our flaws and open to share those parts of ourselves, we will uncover our truth. I have done all of the above. I am finished with looking for something that isn't missing. I am done turning myself inside and out. Over time, I have come to believe in myself and that is a reward that I thought that I would never reap. I didn’t find a block. I found myself and accepted me, warts and all.
I feel that the way to your heart is your own journey. For me it was being painfully honest with myself and seeing how I had hurt people over the years spending energy in protecting myself, how I had become angry and let it consume me and how I had put on weight to comfort myself when no one else had ever shown me. I still struggle with liking parts of myself; because if they weren't there I wouldn't be who I am now. I have discovered the confident me, protective me and the most important part, the vulnerable me.
Within you; you are love, energy and hope. It is within me too. You have been seen by the Universe, by the people in your life, by the Laws of Whatever, so have I. Its hard work and some people bypass the pain to stick to what they know, rather than facing their fears and doing it anyway.
Stop looking. You are loved. I am loved. Sometimes the road is lonely and sometimes and it’s a ball. Do what you love. Reach out to people. Reach within yourself and show your love. It's all you've got in this life. It’s a gift. Give it freely without remorse or judgement. Love is what we hide from each other and it is all that we need.
If I could take all of you and wrap you in the arms of love, I would. This time of year is precious to so many. It’s the gathering of loved ones and family celebrating each other and our connectedness. Some are in spirit, still they visit and make themselves known, even when we’re not paying attention. All I ask of you is this….be gentle with yourself. Our lives are complex, often filled with struggle and distress. My personal growth has come from a commitment that I never thought was possible. I committed to my emotional health 3 years ago and I have never looked back. However, like you, I still get caught up in drama, suffer the grieving process and experience setbacks. Without any of these events we wouldn’t become strong, loving and often, broken hearted. When your heart breaks, it makes room for more love and more adventure.
At this crazy hectic time of year I ask you to take a moment to yourself. Sit quietly and thank all of the people, places, events and experiences that have crossed your path this past year. Being grateful for the triumphs and forgiving to those that have made mistakes. We are fallible. Mistakes are what make us see our truth as well as our direction. For those of you angry, underneath that is a deep pain that you carry. It’s okay, eventually you’ll see that your pain has run its course and it’s time to see the positive things around you. Embrace your feelings, whatever they may be. They are present to remind you that you are human.
Know that you are loved by people who have never told you, by your family and friends in spirit and by your spirit. Remember, you are spirit. Your higher self will never steer you wrong. Trust that your life has taken a detour and you will be put back on your path, even if you don’t know what that looks like.
I trust that love will find its way to you as it has for me through this past year.
I’m sending all of you healing in your time of need, support when you feel that there is none and love when you think you can’t find it.
Much love to you all,
Ursula has been a medium since she was a child and enjoys sharing her experiences!